Happy Doc Student Podcast

Build Boundaries with Nope Coach, Suzanne Culberg

Heather Frederick, PhD

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In episode #135 I hang out with Nope Coach, Suzanne Culberg. Her free offer, the Building Boundaries Bundle, is available here: http://suzanneculberg.com/bbb Enter Coupon o the left of the screen: HAPPYDOCSTUDENT 

  • Academic Burnout: Overachieving academics (students and faculty) often struggle with boundaries, leading to burnout and all other sorts of negative outcomes (reduced cognitive performance, leaving a program, etc.). 
  • Avoid Extremes: Just like saying “yes” to everything isn’t healthy, saying “no” to everything isn’t either. Find balance by offering alternatives or delaying responses instead of saying "no" to everything.
  • Self-Boundaries: Setting boundaries with yourself is key to staying focused and not getting sidetracked by others' requests.
  • Graceful Declining: Politely decline requests that don’t align with your skills, goals and/or available bandwidth, thanking the requester for considering you.
  • Reframing "No": Understand that saying "no" can open up space for other opportunities and clarify what the requester really needs. 
  • Normalize Asking for Help: Just like others ask you for help, it’s OK for you to ask for assistance - be specific about the type of support you need.
  • Energy Management: Be wary of “energy vampires” – if you do not have the time to help right now, offer to help when you can (the need for your help will likely pass).
  • Creative Help Options: Offer limited or alternative ways to help without overextending yourself (instead of helping with a move, offer to bring a pizza or have one delivered!; instead of reviewing an entire book, offer to read a chapter).
  • Time to Respond: Always take time to consider requests before agreeing (“I have to check my calendar and get back to you on that.”). 
  • Clarify Expectations: Ask requesters to clarify what kind of feedback or help they want when asking for support.
  • Teach and Model Boundaries: Educating others about boundaries, including your kids, and demonstrating how to communicate needs clearly will reduce your overwhelm. 
  • Index Card Strategy: Use an index card with "yes" on one side and "no" on the other to serve as a visual cue – when you say “yes” to someone else, you say ‘no’ to yourself.  
  • Manage FOMO: Let go of the fear of missing out; there will always be new opportunities.
  • Practice Makes Perfect: “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously" -Sophia Bush 

Connect with Suzanne
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@suzanneculberg
Website: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suzanne_culberg/

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